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Is It Okay Not To Be Okay?
I have sat with my anger long enough that it feels like part of my personality.
I have been fighting an uphill battle to get control of my emotions. It’s been decades, and every time I think I have made progress, something happens, putting me back into the thick of it.
In 2016, I decided to divorce my ex-husband after years of emotional and physical abuse. He was addicted to everything — pills, weed, and probably stuff I didn’t even know. He was an emotional vampire and fed off my emotions. I worked and supported our family, with him rarely having a job.
The same year, Yahoo News! restructured the company, laying off hundreds of writers. I was one of those layoffs, sending my family into a financial crisis. I frantically looked for a job. I finally found a job teaching tax professionals the software at H&R Block.
It was the glimmer of hope I needed. I enjoyed my co-workers and made decent money. My ex used my job as “proof” I wasn’t a good mother. He claimed I was “too busy” to care for three young children. The judge actually told me to quit my job and be a mother instead of working. I never understood how they expected me to support the kids without a job.
